What’s your Purpose?
The start or end of anything important in life (or even the boring middle) shakes us up inside and entices us to look closely at why we’re doing what we’re doing. I definitely do not consider myself any kind expert. I’m actually writing this because I feel like I am once again in a cycle of re-tweaking my purpose, and feel its helpful to look back on what worked in the past. For me I knew I’d discovered what lit me up inside when the small stuff didn’t upset me as much. I was looking at the road ahead instead of at the dirt on my shoes. Although as it suggests above, if one has found purpose before, it can’t be taken for granted. We have to nourish it, re-find it, grow with it, or realize it no longer resonates, and let it go for a new purpose.
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Explore with me…
You don’t find your purpose by sitting alone ruminating. I wish I knew this when I was 20! You can’t THINK your way into finding your purpose. Like so many things in life, it’s something you can only truly understand by doing and reflecting…by engaging with the world, and growing into your purpose. This is eloquently communicated by Cornell university professor Anthony Burrow in the podcast Hidden Brain, episode; Happiness 2.0: cultivating your purpose (an amazing podcast in general)
Anthony Burrow says there are 3 main ways to cultivate purpose:
It is cultivated slowly by doing something consistently over a long period of time and slowly realizing it’s your joy.
A powerful experience in your life moved you into a passion, such as a tragic event, or an overwhelmingly awe inspiring experience.
Seeing a purpose from another person, like a singular hero in your life that inspires your life path. You could see yourself in that life vicariously through them.
Listen to the whole episode if this interests you. It was a great one.
Notice what gives you energy, and what drains you. Throughout your day in all activities, personal and work, give each activity a bit of attention. Does it energize you? Or make you tired? Figuring out what drains you doesn’t necessarily mean you don’t do that thing. It gives you insight into your subconscious self and gives you the power to make conscious decisions based on the knowledge you have. When something gives you a huge dose of energy every time you do it, or it puts you in a state of “flow” look at why that is. It may just be a huge insight on what you should lean into in your life. I originally discovered this idea in a Domestica course on agenda organization by a CEO named Hanoi Morillo. The course was not exactly on this topic, but taught that you don’t need to manage your time, you need to manage your energy. You should book things that drain you between the things that energize you. She taught to keep track of how acitivities made you feel to be able to effectively book your time. In doing this tracking exercise it ended up helping me understand much more about myself than just how to plan my day effectively. I started to understand my passions! What a gift.
Talk to people that you are curious about or admire. This is slightly different from the 3rd point of my first paragraph, because it’s simply a curiosity towards a group of people without knowing what you will discover from it. This is something I’ve done at several stages of life, that I only realized the value of in hindsight. Anyone who knows me, knows that I’m a chatty person…once in a while it comes in handy. You’d be surprised how willing people are to share a piece of themselves with you if you just ASK with no alterior motive. I seem to ask how they got to where they are and why they were driven in that direction. You ask what you are curiosu about. The point is to have curiousity. Simon Sinek talks a lot about the art of listening, which is something we all need on both sides of the interaction. Being heard AND listening to our fellow humans is nourishing. Simply inviting people to have space to share, often not only provides inspiration, you also find out more than you think you will…even if you think you know everything about someone. It helps you see the little things you have in common with that person, and lets you understand a journey is day by day. Your discoveries will be unique to your conversations.
On a kayak trip 15 years ago I was asking a woman how she knew she would succeed at running her own company while we were cleaning dishes in a stream. At the time I had never dreamt of starting a company, I simply felt lost in my own life and found her success fascinating. She said “I guess I just knew that no matter what happened I wouldn’t fail, because my marker of failure was giving up, and I wasn’t going to give up.” To this day I still think about the tenacity of that sentence. It deeply affected me, but at the time I didn’t know it was a piece of cultivating my future. How cool is that?!
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In short, for me it’s about curiosity, being present and engaged in the life around you, and trusting that your intentionality of understanding your purpose, means you will find it. Not just once but over and over again in your life.
I hope you found this interesting!
Tara.